Hoopalicious' Blog

BLOG #100!!

Well, DANG! Here it is. This may be the first time in my life that I have successfully, with the exception of a couple days ago, did any new awesome thing for that long and that consistently. I feel my view of what I am capable of, and what I have to share, has shifted dramatically. AND icing on the cake, the event that sparked it all.. Kyle Cease’s Evolving Out Loud weekend, is back in LA this weekend! Feels full circle and also a major level up. Who knows what I will bring out of this weekend?? We shall see.

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How to get unstuck

I have a brain that LOVES to be in action. Ironically, in the absence of structured days in which to be in a flow of momentum, my brain also easily lapses into inertia. In the prolonged presence of inertia (not to be confused with a normal cycle of rest) my brain tends to get confused and overwhelmed, causing me to sink lower into stagnation and depression. In this state it is easy to LITERALLY forget what I am even FOR. It is easy to forget what things cause fulfillment and happiness for me. Even projects that are really important to me can quite literally be forgotten. It feels like I would imagine it would feel to be suddenly blind and frantically flinging your arms around to grasp onto something familiar and solid to extrapolate where you are in the room. So, what to do when a creative mind such as mine forgets itself and gets lost in a sea of endless possibilities? Here is how I manage:

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I have long had a problem finishing things. I am not sure when the pattern began but it’s been around at least since high school. And when I say not finishing things, I don’t mean I start things then peter out in the middle, though that happens too. The pattern usually looks like me not finishing, for a variety of reasons, just inches away from the finish line. If I ran a 5k , I wouldn’t be totally surprised if I got diverted at 4.9k. Like meh.. I tried it and decided this running thing is not for me, so why finish? Or dang, my shoe lace broke… oh well, I guess I won’t finish then. Ha! So, I guess I am not totally shocked that 3 days from my 100 day challenge finish line I simply FORGOT to write a blog yesterday. I mean… wtf? 

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get back up

I just finished a blog I was VERY happy with. Why is it not here instead of this one? I failed to hit save throughout and for the first time my dang website logged me out before I got to the end, erasing the entire thing. Needless to say. I was, and still am, a bit annoyed. I guess it is times like these we get to practice what we preach. In hoop dance I am always extolling the virtues of mistakeless-ness and success being defined by picking the hoop back up when it falls, not that the hoop NEVER falls. Well, here goes.

I surrender the idea that the blog I wrote before was better than this one. I surrender the idea that I ought to just give up now. I surrender the idea that something was stolen from me. I surrender the idea that I missed out on a road and am now stuck on the wrong one. I surrender the idea that the world is out to get me. I surrender the idea that the best is behind me and I lack the power to succeed.

I embrace the knowing that every redirect points us closer to our highest good. I embrace the knowing that there is always more insight and ideas. I embrace the knowing that I am right where I need to be. I embrace the knowing that these words are far more important than the ones that were erased. I embrace the knowing that I can recapture, if not word for word, the spirit of the blog now swimming in the ethers. I embrace the knowing that I have NO freakin clue what the life ahead of me holds. I embrace the knowing that CAN keep going... I am strong enough and resilient enough.  

I am going to attempt to re-write the previous blog. Wish me luck! 

xo~ Anah

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coming to balance

Something about today has me feeling a return to wholeness, balance and sanity. A lightening of the heaviness of the last couple of weeks. I don't think many details have changed... there is still extremes of weather worldwide, sadly there is still an incompetent buffoon in office and the political parties remain more polarized than ever. And yet, today I feel like we have come through to a new place somehow. 

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