Today I slipped into an old habit of distraction via facebook, news and youtube videos. I have been on a creative streak since my weekend with Kyle Cease so this momentary slip back into an aspect of my old identity did not sneak by un-noticed. To be fair to myself, I only slipped a little, not totally square on my ass. It's not like I went back to wearing my onezie all day and didn't look up from my computer screen except to eat and go to the bathroom... yep, at one time there were days that were that deep into tech distraction addiction. There, I said it.. kind of feels good to reveal that about my past. I say past because as of the last few months I had been slowly unraveling the habit, with this last weekend feeling like I truly left it behind. So, while today wasn't SO bad.. I was only on facecrack and youtube off and on all day, instead of allllll day, it was enough to really notice the effects on my consciousness and creativity.
In the last week, and on Fridays (my NO distraction day that I have implemented for a couple months now), I saw clearly how there was no obstruction of ideas, insights and enthusiasm to get my work done. When I allowed myself to stay glued to the screen just a little bit too long, it's like all of a sudden I had cotton in my ears and lost connection to that little voice inside that speaks wisdom, truth and inspiration. The analogy that comes to mind is like filling yourself to overflowing with junk food that there was no room for all the healthy food you know your body needs. The longer my eyes stayed fixated on the portal to distraction, the more the internal pressure would mount. My spirit was trying to get messages through, but in the over inflated state of non stop external input, it couldn't get a word in edgewise.
An image comes to mind. That of a person hunched over a screen googling "how to be a writer" while the universe is jumping up and down behind them, waving it's (celestial... infinite) arms wildly, shouting "Ask me! I am RIGHT freakin here!!!". All we have to do is turn around, or really, go within. Close the laptop and our eyes, Breathe...for goodness sake, BREATHE! I don't have all the answers, I just know now that things are far simpler than I had been making them. That the path to my creative flow wasn't a mystery, I was just filling the space it was meant to live in with an excess of internal input and distraction. I could go into all the reasons why... the feelings I was avoiding, the identity I was protecting or the fear of the unknown, but none of that REALLY matters. What matters is that I am making different choices now. I see that when I create the space with dedicated self care, treating myself like a best friend and cultivating beneficial habits, the answers to my biggest questions are handed out on a silver platter... with vegan doughnuts and bullet proof coffee and all the worry drops away.
Does this resonate with you? Are you closing your ears and shouting "la la la la!!" so that your muse can't be heard? I recommend going without the internet for one whole day per week to start. At first it is going to be really uncomfortable but SO worth it. And, I am curious.. what did you discover? How did you feel??
As always, we are all in this together!