Hoopalicious' Blog

change is the only constant

Do you do this? When you are having a bad day, or are in a funky mood, start stressing about how to "fix it" for fear that you might somehow stay in a bad mood forever? I think this is part of the collective human condition. We all do this to varying degrees. The weird thing is, this type of stress is totally nonsensical. Because, NO THING stays the same... ever ever EVER. And yet, how much emotional and mental energy do we expend worrying that somehow THIS time, the problem, or bad mood or bad day will get stuck and stay with us forever? Funny, huh? 

I have a bit of a hypothesis about this. I think that the stress we feel, that feeling we interpret as us trying to find a solution, is actually a mislabeling of simply impending change. When we begin to run with the interpretation of "a problem that needs fixing" the mounting stress is actually the dissonance that is created when we attempt to meddle with the natural flow of things. Kind of like what would happen if we were to stick something into the gears of an unstoppable machine. Our ears would probably be assaulted with discordant sounds and maybe even some disorienting vibrations. If we had just left well enough alone, and kept our fingers out of it, the machine would chug along just fine. The point is, the stress we apply to find a solution to a problem, very often IS the problem. I noticed related to this years ago. When I was driving somewhere new, I noticed it was always right after I started to fear I was lost, that I would find where I was going. This happened enough times I began to reinterpret what previously felt like "oh shit, I think I am lost." to "Oh, I must be almost there."  I think that much of the stories our minds feed us are misinterpretations of reality, and usually skewed towards the negative. I wonder what would happen if, instead of our previous interpretation of "Oh crap, a problem" we re-identified that feeling as "Oh wow, something is about to change!"

Of course it IS possible to have a string of bad days, or hell... I have had a string of bad YEARS. But I think part of what created this was less the circumstances/problems of what was happening outside of myself and more what I was telling myself about it. When I was in my string of bad years, I would go to bed obsessing about all my "problems" and how horrible I felt about them. Relationships, money, and purpose where the main three that plagued me. So, big surprise, I would wake up the next day with all those same thoughts running through me, causing the same emotions and the same resultant actions and life. So while it might APPEAR that the shittyness I was complaining about persisted, It was actually my thoughts around those circumstances that persisted, creating an illusion of sameness from day to day. But the flow of time and change were still just as active. The good news is the positive application of this idea is also true. If I am able to notice when I am viewing my life as a problem that only more thinking can fix, then I am able to make a different choice. I have found that as complex as we humans are, we can only really think on one thing at a time. If that one thing is something supportive, like "tomorrow is another day." or "I am just having a moment and I know that things can turn around in an instant.", there will be no room for the endless loop of self defeating prophecies we were spinning before. One caveat to this, is the longer you go down the rabbit hole the more effort it takes to travel back up to the light. If you go deep enough, for long enough, one may need some professional help to dig out of the hole. However, It is my strong belief, based on my own experience with deep depression, that depression is a pattern of habitual thought. And like all habits, you can change it. Like any good habit, you can get really good at choosing NOT to go down the rabbit hole. It is even possible to make happiness/positivity a habit, just as depression once was. It IS possible to change your default choice of thoughts to those that help rather than hinder. Nothing is 100% effective, 100% of the time, but the space I am in more often now is SO much more on the light side of life than the daily struggle I had been previously stuck in for YEARS, if not maybe even my whole life up till last year. 

If I can leave a nugget here for my fellow heady folks, it would be to remember that time is always flowing. Everything changes and nothing, no matter how you feel about it, can stop it. Might as well feel into the moment, appreciate the good stuff as much as possible... and when things are shitty, thank your lucky stars that IT WILL CHANGE. Knowing everything changes, how do you want to think, feel and act to help things move in a direction you prefer? Kind of like flying a kite. Which stream do you want to ride? And lastly, when in doubt, MOVE YOUR BODY and BREATHE. Most especially, if that is the LAST thing you want to do. The mind follows the body... every time ;) 

As always, we are all in this together... Isn't it grand?

xo Anah

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