I am at the end of Day 2 of the first module of co-active coach training with CTI. I am feeling a little at a loss for words, which is rare for me (no surprise there.. ha!), but this training has brought up so much that was hidden from my view! I want to keep the sacred container of the details of the experience, but lets just say that it is challenging my tendency to want to fix and control. This is an issue I have been aware of for some time, but I didn't see just how deep it went until trying on a coaching model that is very decidedly NOT that. It was one of those AHA moments of the unpleasant variety. The kind of aha that has you stupefied for a minute, as the reality sinks in that the only way to move forward is through uncharted territory. The kind of AHA that has you feel like a babe left to fend for itself in the woods. But not for the steady hands of our two guides, I would have surely run screaming from the room in the face of the sheer alien-ness of it. The part of myself that derived it's sense of purpose from "knowing" and "having the answers" and "giving advice" HATED this. It was having the kind of tantrum that a spoiled little kid has when forced to sit in the back seat, even though she feels entitled to the front seat... if not the driver seat. This is all happening internally, of course. Luckily I have grown somewhat adept in sitting in the discomfort of outmoded identities.
As the day went on, I got the answer to my burning question; "If coaching isn't about fixing problems, what the heck do I DO?" The answer to that is very little. Or at least from the outside looking in, it appears as if the coach is doing very little.. Once on the inside of the model, even at the very baby beginning stages of it, you begin to see just how much work, focus, skill and care it takes to accomplish doing so little, yet having such a great effect. Yesterday I didn't get it.. In all honesty, my judgey self was kinda like.. what the heck is the point of this?? Today, watching our two guides work, was like watching the masters of any sport. Economy of movement/word, grace and poise are hallmarks of coaching just as much as it is with dance, riding or hooping (heck, maybe anything). And just as one can't really appreciate how hard it is to make it look so easy, unless you have tried something yourself, I sit in awe of witnessing greatness today.
Looking forward to more unfolding tomorrow and sitting in a newness that I know will have many fruits in the days, weeks, months and years to come.
Tally ho, my dear friends!