For those of you who don't know me personally, I tend to hold on tooth and nail to things. Relationships, societal roles, opinions and ideologies too. Sometimes this serves me, sometimes not so much. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I recently decided to let go of my 20 years long hoop business, Hoop Revolution. Talk about holding on tooth and nail! Hooping began as a passion and very quickly became my mission in life. Looking back I can barely get a glimmer of a time when hooping was just for me and not the way I was going to "save the world"... (give me a break, I was 21... heh) Coinciding with this choice to let my business go, was a 100 day challenge to do something every day that would help you transition into your new Self (with a capitol S). For 11 days so far, I have meditated, exercised, envisioned my future as if it had already happened (out loud, to myself like a crazy person) and blogged. I am a little embarrassed to say this is the farthest I have ever made it on any kind of daily challenge and it feels AMAZING. I bring this up because I think it is key to my point of this blog post. Since I let go of my business (mentally, I have yet to find a buyer and do the thing for real), a massive weight has lifted off me. I think having a new set of behaviors to dive into has helped me make this shift a reality, even though the business is still in my hands. Ok, here is were I get to the point.. for real! Ha! I have hooped more since I released the NEED to make my business HAPPEN, then I have in months (if not as far as I remember). It is <gasp> almost a daily practice now... which I have NEVER, in 20 years as a hooper, been able to achieve. I have had more ideas for hoop related blogs and products and more easily worked on the business of Hoop Revolution in general. It's kind of mind boggling. All the stories about not "having enough time" are really just a fat load of BS. I couldn't see it though... not until I took a massive dose of surrender and decided to do the thing I was most resisting, and brought up the most fear. Let go of the thing that gave me "purpose" for my entire adult life. In order to do that I had to really get that I had accomplished the thing I set out to do a long time ago. My ego had a hard time letting go before I "made it". Or at least profited financially. But at 21 with all my youthful idealism still intact, I hadn't set out to make money with hooping. My mission was to spread it as far and wide as I could. And I did that. And I am damn proud of what hooping has become! Really, the world of hooping has been just fine without me for a long time now. Time to unshackle my hoop dance from any baggage of self worth or "what if's". Time to let hooping be just for ME. Yay!
I think when we let go of something, it gives that thing space to be what it really IS, rather than trying to fit into the box of what you tried to cram it in. This goes for careers, relationships, hobbies and even how we view ourselves. And thank goodness. Now I see that I don't have to cut hoop dance out of my life, in fact it can be a far more passionate relationship than it was previously. I just have to let it BE. This is a way of moving though the world I would like to adopt in as many areas as possible (especially relationships... yikes!).... I am still planning on selling my business, but first I am giving it a make over and a massive dose of love.
Thanks for reading this far. I have no idea who is reading my blogs (if anyone), it just feels good to establish myself (if even just in my own mind) as my new incarnation... a WRITER (slash hooper, slash horse woman, slash speaker, slash????). ha!
As always, we are all in this together!